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What do you call the guy who manages my apartment building?

The thoooperintendent.

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What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

What do you call two guys on a pair of curtains?

Kurt n Rod.

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How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."