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What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history?

American Snipper

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What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

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What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history?

American Snipper