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American History Jokes

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

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What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history?

American Snipper

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

What is something that you never forget on a field trip?

9/11.

119 Jokes More 119 Jokes

Why do Americans order their dates Month/Day/Year?

Because 11/9 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Long Distance Jokes More Long Distance Jokes

What's the difference between an American and a Briton?

Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.

Who was that on the phone Fred?

Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down!

European Jokes More European Jokes

What room is it?

When you arrive at the international airport you are American. There is a room that changes your nationality. When you enter this room you are Russian, when you leave this room you are Finnish, and while inside European. What room is it?

What's an eastern European cannibal's favorite snack?

Czechs Mix

American Jokes More American Jokes

How do American chickens cross the road?

In a bucket.

What did Sam say to the young Americans?

Guess where this finger's going.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does that mean?

More kids tripping in lab coats

What did the other nose say to the other nose when it was crying?

It told it a Nak-Nak joke! (In my language Urdu, Nak means nose.)

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Why is that?

Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown?

He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)

How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown?

White and gold.