Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses?

He was a rough rider!

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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?

If one bit you you could ride it to hospital!

Why did the horse miss the joust?

He had the knight off!

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Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

How many Freudian psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mother - I mean light bulb!