What do you tell a woman that has 37 stab wounds?

Nothing, you already told her 37 times.

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How do you tell the difference between a Fabric Designer and a Science Professor?

Ask them to pronounce "LATEX"

How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert?

You get very lumpy ice cream!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do all battered women have in common?

In a frustrated voice) They just don't listen.

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

A woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

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What do you tell a woman that has 37 stab wounds?

Nothing, you already told her 37 times.

What do you get if you cross a 20-year-old man, and 37 steak knives?

25 years in prison