What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?

Jesus died on the cross

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

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Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree?

Suh Dude

Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off?

Because he wanted to win the Nobel Prize!