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What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What type of board will you be riding?

Jesus: looks at feet They're using boards

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

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How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

What's the difference between a Pizza and an onion?

No one cries when you cut up Pizza.