What does Jesus say when someone cuts his call?

Hello.. Hello..? Lama sabachthani?!

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What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?

A Cruci-fixie.

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

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How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.