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What does Shakespeare say when he is angry with his dog?

Out, out, damned Spot!

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did the dog say to the other dog at the party?

Raise the woof!

How did the dog feel when he lost his flashlight?

Delighted.

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

What's the difference between a bad golfer, and a bad skydiver?

The golfer goes " Damn!" The skydiver goes "Damn! "

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What's David Cameron's favourite Shakespeare play?

Hamlet.