What does Spiderman like to get high on?

Mary Jane

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Why didn't crab and lobster like to share?

They were both two shellfish

What time do philosophers like to visit the shopping mall?

At the Schopenhauer.

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What does black Spider-Man say to Spider-Man?

No Racism please!

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

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Why was Mary Jane not a virgin?

Her mother leaves.

Why did Josh Gordon marry Mary Jane?

So he'd only get a 2 game suspension for abusing her.