What dogs never get lost?

Newfound-lands!

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What car do dogs drive?

A Doge charger

What did the Dog say to the Chipmunk?

Woof.

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What does Pittsburgh have in common with Peter Pan?

The Pirates always lose.

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.