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Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the rabbit want to mate outside?

Because it was Frigid

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

What state do most people live in?

Denial. Myself included.

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

Attention Jokes More Attention Jokes

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!