Attention Jokes

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)

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Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

Why did the farmer's wife got angry at him for paying too much attention to his equipment?

He kept looking at his hoes.

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

Pssssssssssst

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

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What is it about half men - half horses?

They always have to be centaur of attention.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing?

Because he was absolutely ribbeting!

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What has 10 letters and starts with gas?

Automobile.

Why did the investment bankers start dating?

Compound interest

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

What happens if you get human DNA in a goat?

You get banned from the petting zoo.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face..... :D eh. Eh.?

Why should you pay scientists with $50 bills?

They're always looking for Grant money.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Why was the sterile Grizzly upset?

Because he couldn't Bear children.

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

Why should a honeymoon only be six days?

Because seven days makes a whole week.

Puerto Rico Jokes More Puerto Rico Jokes

What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico?

Attention K-Mart shoppers...

Why wasn't Jesus born in Puerto Rico?

He couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?

AA, Eh

What do you call a car made out of Canadian money?

A CADillac.