Attention Jokes

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)

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Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

Pssssssssssst

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What is it about half men - half horses?

They always have to be centaur of attention.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing?

Because he was absolutely ribbeting!

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What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

It was full of fans.

What's the best response when someone wastes your time?

Answers below please.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why were the people in the World Trade Center mad on 9/11?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and all they got was plane.

Why was the healthy potato not allowed on the plane?

He was on the "No Fry" list.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What do you get when you cross Game of Thrones with Cartoon Network?

Johnny Braavos

Which game did the cat want to play with the mouse?

Catch.

Bagpipe Jokes More Bagpipe Jokes

What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.

Who knocks on doors at three in the morning?

It's so inconsiderate! Good thing I was still up playing my bagpipes.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears

Why couldn't the boarder throw out his collection of potted ferns?

They were his best fronds.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

How does the astronaut cut his hair?

Eclipse

What's a astronauts favorite food?

Lays, because they are full of air.

Javelin Jokes More Javelin Jokes

What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her.

How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?

They go sharkers!

What happened to the ghost who couldn't scare?

He had to join a support group since he couldn't handle his boos.