Attention Jokes

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)

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Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

Why did the farmer's wife got angry at him for paying too much attention to his equipment?

He kept looking at his hoes.

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

AU

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

Pssssssssssst

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What is it about half men - half horses?

They always have to be centaur of attention.

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How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing?

Because he was absolutely ribbeting!

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

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Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

How many days are there in Canadian February?

About Twenty, eh.

What do Canadian girls hate?

Aboooooooooty call.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many X does it take to change a light bulb?

N! One to change the light bulb, and n-1 to display stereotypical behavioral traits of X!

How many psychologist does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb is going to need to change itself.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there's a Target on every corner

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who?

I thought you said you'd never forget....

How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom?

They think outside the box.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How did Chernobyl disaster happen?

Scientist A: Are you sure? scientist B: Trust me, I know what i'm doing.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

Alzheimer Patient Jokes More Alzheimer Patient Jokes

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

P Jokes More P Jokes

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Why can't you tell when a Pteradactyl goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.