Attention Jokes

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

Pssssssssssst

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What is it about half men - half horses?

They always have to be centaur of attention.

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing?

Because he was absolutely ribbeting!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

Why did Snow White buy an android phone?

She thought the apple was poisoned.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Where do you go if a twister is about to touchdown in Texas?

The Dallas Cowboy Stadium, a touchdown never happens there!

Whats happening?

FB=Whats on your mind FourSquare= Where am I Quora=what Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

Lady Gaga Jokes More Lady Gaga Jokes

How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga?

You poke poke poker face

What did the windmill say to Lady Gaga?

I'm a really big fan.

National Anthem Jokes More National Anthem Jokes

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

Oh secant, you say

Flight Attendant Jokes More Flight Attendant Jokes

What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant?

Pilot error.

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

What do methheads and Mormons have in common?

They both ride bikes and go on missions.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?

None**. They operate in the **dark**.

How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb?

None They don't make Pampers small enough.