Attention Jokes

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

Because there's nothing to care-aboot. (caribou)

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

Why did the farmer's wife got angry at him for paying too much attention to his equipment?

He kept looking at his hoes.

What do you say to get the attention of a gold bar?

Why did the feminist sign up for football?

She wanted to be the center of attention.

How did one goldfish get the attention of another goldfish?

He yelled, "A u, fish!"

Why do people want attention of 1000 pies?

Because it's their sen-pais

How did one tire get the attention of another tire?

Pssssssssssst

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke

What is it about half men - half horses?

They always have to be centaur of attention.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why were the treefrog's stories always so attention grabbing?

Because he was absolutely ribbeting!

What do you call a hump-backed cow that always wants to be the center of attention?

A drama-dairy.

What did King Midas say to get peoples attention?

Eh you!!

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

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Javelin Jokes More Javelin Jokes

What's black and white, and red all over. And cant fit through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her.

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?

It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?

Why did Bob disagree with communism?

He thought it was such Bolshevik.

Astronaut Jokes More Astronaut Jokes

Why was the astronaut so sore?

He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid.

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How does a musician make a million dollars?

They start with 2 million.

Where do you want to go?

So I click on the 'Home' icon and it starts all over again.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Lets go ride our bikes

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT

Alzheimer Patient Jokes More Alzheimer Patient Jokes

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny?

Hey, this looks new!