Canadian Jokes

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message. I know i need to work on my execution.

Whats best joke aboot Canada?

I'm Canadian and i was just wondering

How did the Canadian win the hockey game?

He took stEHreroids

How do you get 50 Canadians out of the swimming pool?

Say, " Everyone out of the pool please."

Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?

AA, Eh

What did the deaf Canadian say to the American that was talking?

Eh?

What is the term for a group of Canadians?

Is it "an apology" "Oh look, there goes an apology of Canadians"

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

What will you have?

The seals says, "Anything but a Canadian Club."

What's the difference between a Canadian and an Italian?

Where the "eh" is in the sentence. Canadian: "How you doin, eh " Italian: "Eh! How you doin "

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

How many days are there in Canadian February?

About Twenty, eh.

What is a Canadian's Favorite Game?

Sorry!

What is a Canadian vampire's favourite drink?

Type Eh.

Why do Canadian cops not need to wear body cameras?

Because Tim Hortons already has cameras!

What do Canadian girls hate?

Aboooooooooty call.

What car insurance do Canadians have?

Triple 'eh'

How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb

What does a Canadian hipster say?

Meh".

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos?

Pork, eh

Why don't Canadians do well on Wheel of Fortune?

Because the host gets confused when they say "I'd to buy a vowel eh."

What's a Canadian's favorite number?

Eight.

How do you get three drunk, rowdy Canadians out of a pool?

Ask them to get out of the pool.

What do Canadians put on their steaks?

Eh-1 (Sorry)

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down a gig at a local gym?

Because why MC, eh

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

What do Canadians say after a prayer in church?

Eh-men

What do you call a Canadian rap group?

Poutine Clan

What's a Canadian's favourite weapon?

An Eh k-47

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

What did the Canadian Reddit user say?

Ehhhhh

What happens to a Canadian's car when it breaks down?

The owner calls Triple Eh.

What is the most popular Canadian poultry restaurant?

Chic-fil, eh

What do you call a loonie answering questions on reddit?

DollarAMA. *Only Canadians will get it, sorry.

Why do people say that Canadians always want to establish that they're Canadian?

As a Canadian, this offends me.

What do the Canadian Illuminati call themselves?

The Illuminat-Eh!

Why did the Canadian DJ turn down the gig at the local Y?

Because why emcee, eh

What do you call a weapon used by a Canadian ninja?

Canuck-chucks.

Why do you always exchange your Canadian dollars to USD?

It makes no sense!" "Well neither does the Canadian Mint!"

What did the Canadian say when asked what he thought about stereotypes?

Eh.

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

How do you keep Canadian bacon from curling in the pan?

Take away its brooms.

Why shouldn't Canadian adults laugh at children who believe in the Easter Bunny?

Because most of them still believe in Justin Trudeau

How do you get 20 Canadians out of a pool?

Okay folks, time to get out of the pool!

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How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb?

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How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

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How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two.

Term Jokes More Term Jokes

What is another term for ob gyn?

A Klingon! since obstetrician gynaecologist is too long, and OB GYN doesn't make sense,lets call them Klingons

What's the term for when the pool breaks during water birth?

A midwife crisis.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

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What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

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Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles?

A. Electricity.

Canadian Jokes

How do you get a Canadian to quit smoking cigarets?

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Why do Canadians say aboot?

Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West?

Why do Canadians not pay attention to their local wildlife?

What's a baby seals favourite drink?

What's common between Canadians and Belgians?

What do the Montreal Canadians drive?

What's a Canadian's favorite footwear?

What do Canadians drink when the beer is all gone?

What is a Canadian's favorite Nirvana song?

How can you tell if a Canadian is an existentialist?

Birthday State of Mind

How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

How do you get a Canadian to pay you back?

What do you call a sophisticated American?

How do Canadians say Milky Way?

What do you call a nice Canadian meal on a colorful roof?

What do you call a black Canadian?

What do you call a Canadian in a blizzard?

What was the hexadecimal 6 afraid of the Canadian hexadecimal 7?

What do you call a car made out of Canadian money?

What is Canadian graffiti like?

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What do you call two Canadians buy coffee?

Why does a Canadian with a stutter never run low on batteries?

Where do Canadians play Basketball?

What do Canadian women put behind their ears to attract men?

What is a Canadian's favorite board game?

How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool?

Whats the longest running Canadian joke?

How do you get a one armed Canadian out of a tree?

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Love Card

How do you know If your girlfriend is Canadian?

What do Canadian banks and psych wards have in common?

Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down?

What starts with e, ends with e, and only contains one letter?

What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white?

Why do Canadians wear tuques?

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexadecimal?

What is a Canadian's favourite letter?

How do you spell Canada in Canadian?

How do Canadians take care of their skin?

What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Who is the most musical Canadian heroine?

What do you say when a Canadian won't listen to you?

How do you find white Canadian reggae musician Snow in the snow?

How do you know if someone is half texan and half Canadian?

What's the difference between Canadians and Americans?

What do you call a Canadian enchilada?

What brand of vodka does a Canadian drink?

What did the Canadian think of his hardwood flooring?

What's a Canadian Anarchist's favorite shape?

How did Canada pick its name?