What goes up and down but never moves?

The stairs.

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Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

What do you call a sarcastic crimminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

When you go for a bus ride do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?

I prefer to ride on top but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

Move Jokes More Move Jokes

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

What has one wheel, spins, but never moves?

A Ferris wheel.