What happens when a linguist gets sick?

Plosive diarrhea

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What happens once a minute, twice a moment, but never in an eternity?

The letter M

What happens when two dogs breed in a pound?

Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.

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What happens when a linguist gets sick?

Plosive diarrhea

What did the Pilipino orphan boy say to the linguist who wanted to adopt him?

I'll tagalog!