What is the definition of masurbation?

Coming unscrewed

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What did the teenage boy who was jerking off in his room say when his mother called?

One second mom, I'm coming!

Why doesn't Coffee get along with milk in Germany?

Cause it doesn't want to be latte. Sorry. I just came up with this lame joke. Downvotes ahoy!

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What's the definition of eternity?

Four blondes waiting at a four way stop.

What's the definition of irony?

An incongruity between expectation and result.