What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts?

An iPad.

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Satisfy Jokes More Satisfy Jokes

How did the Muslim find the goat in the field?

Very Satisfying.

Why is OP's dog never satisfied?

They don't do liver

I Pad Jokes More I Pad Jokes

How cheap are iPads now?

More importantly, how expensive are menus

What do you get when you cross an iPad with a Christmas Tree?

A PiNEAPPLE! Get it? -D

Cnt Jokes More Cnt Jokes

What's 9 and a half inches long and satisfies all c*nts?

An iPad.

Why is Luis Suarez a c*nt?

Because he lives in Liverpool.