What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

This joke may have profanity.

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Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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Why is it so hard to pull over on the Pirate Highway?

Because there's a parrot on the shoulder.

What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.