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Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire?

Stephen Hawking's

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Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.

Whats the difference between Congress and a US mint?

One of them makes sense!

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What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

How much for this remote controlled alien?

Sir, that's Stephen Hawking.