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What's the opposite of funny?

Jay Leno

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What is the opposite of Turkish?

Pig Latin

What do you call the opposite of a cynic?

A dupe.

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How many ducks would there be if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks two ducks between two ducks and two ducks behind two ducks?

4 ducks-because they are in a row.

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

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What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.