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What's the opposite of "lily white"?

A racist term of some sort.

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What's the opposite of evening?

Unevening.

What's the opposite of funny?

Jay Leno

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What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

If I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.