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What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

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Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist?

A coffin.

George Washington Jokes More George Washington Jokes

What would George Washington be doing if he were alive right now?

Scratchin' the inside of his coffin.

Where does George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleavies!