Where will you never find a hipster fish?

The mainstream

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Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry.

How will I ever find the right woman?

She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

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Why don't hipsters like rivers?

Too mainstream

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.