Mainstream Jokes

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.

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Where do hipsters drown?

The mainstream.

Where do hipsters swim?

Not in the mainstream

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

Where did the hipster drown?

In the mainstream

Why don't hipsters like rivers?

Too mainstream

Where will you never find a hipster fish?

The mainstream

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Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why did the hipster cross the Brooklyn bridge?

To get home.

How much does the average Hipster weigh?

About 74,000 Insta-grams.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the difference between a yoghurt and the USA?

If left for 400 years, the yoghurt will develop a culture.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves?

Russell.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

How do you know if you are drowning in milk?

If it's pasturize

Why did the hippie drowned in the ocean?

Because he was too far out. Ba dum bum tissss

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan.

How do you spell Canada?

C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Which kid is mine?

I like to reply "I haven't decided yet."

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What does an agnostic man with insomnia and dyslexia do in his free time?

He stays awake all night wondering if there's a Dog.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What's the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak?

February 14th.

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men