Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What did the banker say to the tongue when he rejected his loan application?

There's no accounting for taste.

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a giant frog?

A monster that climbs up the Empire State Building and catches aeroplanes with its tongue.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Why do hipsters drink coffee so quickly?

They want to finish before it's cool.

What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?

Decalfinated.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How did the blonde burn her nose?

Bobbing for French fries.

What did Mr. Burns bring to the pot luck?

Eggsalad

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What did the Norse goddess say to Thor when he drunk dialed her?

I aint no Valhalla back girl.

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)