Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

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What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Urn Jokes More Urn Jokes

Why aren't cremations given out for free?

Because you have to urn them.

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.