Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red'?

So that they can't raise it upside-down

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When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise

How many Republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

None. The Democrats do that.

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What Austrian girls and wine have in common?

Both mature in a cellar.

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.