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Why should optometrists never tell jokes?

Because they're too cornea.

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What kind of fruit tells the best jokes?

A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.

How do pirates get their hair to stand up?

Sea-men. My brother told me that

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What's so unfunny that it's funny?

An anti-joke.

Who's there! Cugat! Cugat who?

Cugat to love my jokes!

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How many optometrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One? Or two?

How does an optometrist make love?

Better like this... or better like this