Why was no at the Premature Ejaculaters' support group when I arrived?

I came early.

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What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

What is the witches motto?

We came we saw we conjured!

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What did the dyslexic traveller say when he arrived at an unknown station?

Whoops, wrong sub.

What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish