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Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common?

They both lie about their emissions.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a guy who stands under a bull?

Understandabull

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window