Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What's the difference between a hunter and a fisherman?

A hunter lies in wait. A fisherman waits and lies.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why do flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they didn't they'd fall over.

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.