Why would a dead girl lie?

Because she can't stand up.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?

Annette!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

What did the cow is standing all alone in a field say?

Where are the udders? (Thanks to my three boys for that one!)