How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do the Lannisters and Alice in Chains have in common?

They pay their debts on time.

What's your five-year goal?

Me: Paid administrative leave.

Porch Jokes More Porch Jokes

What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

How do you get someone with a doctorate in philosophy to leave your house?

Just pay for your pizza.

How do Mexicans cut their pizza?

Little Caesars