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How does a mathematician get Tan?

Sin/Cos

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Why didn't the mathematician want to go to the beach?

He didn't want people to see his tan lines.

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer. (tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

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What do people do for a party itinerary in the Jersey Shore?

Gym.Tan.Laundry.

Why didn't the triangle go outside to get a tan?

Cos the sine said so!