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How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5,6,7,8!

How many people with alzheimer's does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the otherside!

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. We don't address hardware issues.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

Format Jokes More Format Jokes

Why did the ghost get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was sheet faced.

Whatcha got, reddit?

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!