How many Communists does is take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first.

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fish

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder.