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How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It depends on the definition of lightbulb.

How many alternative school kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but they get extra credits for it

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many alternative school kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, but they get extra credits for it

How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. It's a huge problem.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?

Camembert!

What do you call money that grows on trees?

Marijuana

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he was drunk Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.