What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend?

He wiped his bum.

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

What did Ray Rice say the first time he met his girlfriend?

Dayuum. I'd hit that.

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How do you get stuck in an annoying conversation with a stranger?

Ask someone vaping if you can bum a cigarette.

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

What do you call it when you keep wiping but brown still shows?

The Trail of Smears