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What did the match box say to the match?

You're fired!

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What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees?

If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

What's the hottest thing in China right now?

A Tibetan monk on fire.

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Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.