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What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

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How do you know that one of them is a Marine?

Don't worry he'll let you know

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

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How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

He was Cross-Fit.

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.