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What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

Why do we need to die?

Chickens

Mortician Jokes More Mortician Jokes

What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee?

Don't worry, you'll fit right in.

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

Corpse Jokes More Corpse Jokes

What did the mortician say to the corpse?

We're gonna need more lube.

What does a corpse and snow have in common?

They are both cold and are hilarious to throw at unsuspecting children.