What do catholic body builders lift?

Their guilt.

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What do you call it when a Catholic remodels his kitchen?

A counter reformation.

What do the Zika virus and Catholic priests have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

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How Do You Tell 2 Scottsmen Apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!!

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

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What do catholic body builders lift?

Their guilt.

What do you call feeling bad about watching lame reality TV shows?

Survivor guilt.