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What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual

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What do you call a snake that likes history?

A HISSStorian.

Why doesn't Pac-Man use Twitter?

Because he doesn't like being followed.

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Where did the girl go when the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

Why can't you trust girls?

Because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die.

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What did the Dalai Lama say to the guy in the kebab shop?

Make me one with everything.

What did the woman say to the guy in Naval intelligence?

You really have a smart uniform.