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What do you call playing chess against yourself?

Chessturbation.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why dosn't Jesus Christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't run home

Chess Jokes More Chess Jokes

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate.

Why do the /r/jokes moderators like chess?

It's the only chance they have to mate.