What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What else?

You've walked out of wife

What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.

Where'd you get that black eye?

Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too...