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What does a gun, a fire extinguisher, and a condom have in common?

Its better to have it and not need it, then to need it and not have it

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

What kind of dog always needs a shave?

A bearded collie!

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?

To be sure to be sure

How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

How many NRA spokesmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

More guns!

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.