What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone?

You're dead to me

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What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here. GUY: I love that song. ME: What song

What's the difference between a tease, a love, and a lust?

Spit, swallow, gargle.

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What's the best part of being a necrophiliac?

In the bedroom, it doesn't take much effort to make your lover's jaw drop.

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one