What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic?

You're dead to me.

This joke may have profanity.

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What did Noah tell his son while they were fishing?

Better get this right, I only have 2 worms.

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

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How did the truck get his girlfriend?

Pickup lines

What did the ghost give his girlfriend on Halloween?

A "booquet" of flower.

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What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.