What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and says...

'Where is the bar tended?'

What did the bartender say to the gold when the gold walked into a bar?

AU, get outta here!