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What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?

The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners...