What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-Terminator!

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

What do ghosts order at the bar?

Sam-BOO!-ca