What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

Why did the Computer Engineer retire young?

He had a lot of cache.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What did the scientist say at the bar?

I'd like some H20 please.

What's worse than a Redditor walking into a bar?

The Holocaust.