What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

What do you call a retired professional swimmer?

Washed up.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

What two games does Carl Sagan play at the bar?

Billiards and Billiards

What did the horse order at the bar?

Chardaneiiiiiiggghhhhh