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What does a retired hairdresser and a bar of platinum have in common?

They both plat no more.

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Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

What do you call a fly when it retires?

A flew.

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

Why did the chord get kicked out of the bar?

Because he was Aminor

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here