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What does a weed addict day when something miraculous happens?

Dank god

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What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

What happened to the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl?

They had a MetLife crisis. (that's the name of the stadium)

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Why do people call their weed the Koran?

Because if your burn it, it gets you stoned

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.