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What does Helen Keller call her dog?

Nothing. She's dead.

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What do you get when if you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic and an agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Why did the dog cross the road?

Because it was the chickens day off.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Why did Helen Keller try lsd?

Because she was told it makes you see things!