What gets louder if you enter it from one end, but quieter if you enter it from the other?

A howler monkey.

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What is a double amputee's favorite video game?

League of Leg ends.

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

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How does a vampire enter his house?

Through the bat flap.

What do you call a duck traveling south that enters a time warp and meets itself traveling north?

A pair of ducks.