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What gym equipment does Jesus use?

A cross trainer.

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When driving through fog what should you use?

Your car.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

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How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive?

Jesus, take the wheel!