What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.

Why don't women fart?

They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Sew Jokes More Sew Jokes

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him